Edward Hancock II's Blog

Attention Big Brother Fans! This season has started.... (to fizzle out before it even began!)

Is it just me or is anyone else already bored by this season's cast, just two boring episodes in? There are some interesting characters to say the least, but the "twists" and what not have been pretty much the same stuff done bass ackwards from years past.

Anyway, who cares what I think? (And if that's true, why am I writing this blog? Ah well... )

Here are my takes on this season's housemates and their estimated chances of winning. Keep in mind I'm never right on the ultimate winner. I'm sure I'll be just as wrong this year as I have been in seasons past but oh well. At least, once you read my blog, you'll know who not to bet on when you go to Las Vegas next week.

Let's start with Kail. This week's Head of Household. She's already proven herself to be a liar. Ironic, mind you, that they introduced her by showing a clip where she stuffs a BIBLE into her bag, as if she couldn't live without it. Not once have they shown her reading it on TV and she is engaging in underhanded tactics that would make Jun and Alyson sit down and take notes. Plus she's not being forthright about who she is. She was boasting in her tape about how they practically owned the town. She thinks she'd get voted out if they knew she didn't need the money. She's right. She's one of the people who give truly religious folks a bad rap. I hope that she doesn't win. Personally, I don't think she will. She's formed an interesting alliance but I see it crumbling without some very powerful players that are not currently taking part in it. But I'll get to that. Eddie's Odds of KAIL winning: 28 to 1 (which is to say if everybody else got eliminated twice and she got voted back in after being eliminated herself maybe she'd win... otherwise, she'll be gone before August gets here.)

Next we have Amber, the single mom who is reportedly also taking care of several other family members. In my eyes, this makes her probably the most worthy candidate to win, but since when has the most worthy won? And to be fair, this isn't about charity or morality or what have you. It's about the ability to play the game. I do see her getting past this week, just because she's a relatively easy pawn and her "sob story" will win her some sympathy votes. Then when she's served her purpose, she'll be booted. Eddie's Odds of Amber winning: 12 to 1. A long shot, but not out of the running by any means.

Carol is the other nominee this week. And in a surprise twist, she's a former rival to houseguest Jessica (whom I'll get to in a minute.) I see Carol as very down to earth for a person her age. However, she's not crafty enough to form an effective alliance. She's going to try to get by on her looks and on the fact that she might be willing to make out for votes. (Not saying she would....saying she might.) That'll get her a few votes, as Alyson Irwin proved in seasons past, but it won't win the game. (Didn't work for Alyson did it? She placed second, not first.) Personally, she adds nothing to the game for me. She's going to be a floater. She'll be useful, as Amber would be. But I think she has less of a sob story. She's a sorority chick trying to make it on Daddy's Money. Boot her out and let the sob story continue a while. Not sure if Big Brother wants their summer ruined so fast by booting out one of the rivalries so quickly, but I think it should happen, just to make MY summer better so I'm sayin she'll be gone this week. Eddie's Odds of Carol Winning? 50 to 1.

What can I say about Daniele? She's cute, seems to be sweet, and she's very insecure about the fact she's not yet 21. Yanno, big brother could get in serious trouble if they allow an underage person to drink alcohol so I hope they'll take note of that. But this isn't about her drinking habits. It's about her chances. Personally, I think they're very good. With Daddy Dick in the house (even if they haven't spoke in a while) I believe him when I say he'll die before letting Daniele get voted out. Whether or not she'll reciprocate, I can't say. But again it's not about her morals. It's about her game playing ability. She's already proven she can turn on the sympathy waterworks. "Poor Little Me and My weird Daddy who just wants to be my friend, seeing as how I'm a grown woman now and don't need to be told what to do and he's willing to recognize that and just try to be your friend instead of trying to be all controlling and treat me like I'm 5 years old or something... boo hoo! I'm so mistreated!" You're sweet, kid. But you annoy me. Eddie's Odds of Daniele Winning: 6 to 1

Now for Daddy Dick...or Evil Dick as he prefers to be called. He's the oldest cast member in the house. His best shot for an ally is a daughter he hadn't spoken to in two or three years before entering the house. And his name dropping is getting old after just two episodes. Daniele is right. The boy needs to dial it down a bit. We get it. You're a tattooed, pierced freak who is currently experiencing a midlife crisis and a quest for approval from a much younger and more hip crowd. Now sit down, Edgar Old Guy, and let the kids have the bubblewrap for a while. You're going to be late for work! I seriously don't see him as a viable winner in this. Daniele is the key and I see her using him to get further in the game but his love for his daughter will ultimately be his undoing. Here's the question though. If his daughter is the ultimate winner, how will he feel if he winds up just being a pawn in her scheme? Will he still cry the tears and talk about how much he loves her? I don't know, but he'll be sitting outside the Big Brother house soon enough, so maybe I can ask him then. Eddie's Odds of Dick Winning: 13 to 1.

Dustin. Honestly I know very little about Dustin. I can't make a clear impression of him. As of this writing, he's a virtual mystery to me. He seems to be quite the cool player, but there is something a bit untrustworthy about him. Perhaps it's just his willingness to play the game. But in the rivalry with ex-boyfriend, Joe, Dustin gets the sympathy edge from me. (Again, I'll go into that later.) For that reason alone, I'll give him decent odds. Eddie's odds of Dustin Winning: 10 to 1

Eric! Yanno, nobody ever told me that Jim's Dad (from American Pie) had an affair with Adam Sandler!! Who knew!??? America's Player hmmm? Ehhh... boring. And Eric really doesn't make me laugh. I guess you have to be locked in an Alice-In-Wonderland-themed house to get the jokes. Either way, he's comic relief and is not perceived as much of a threat right now. That could buy him some time much like Robert was bought some time the year that Jun won. He wasn't perceived as a threat. He very well could have been, but for a twist of fate and (ultimately) his own lack of mental fortitude. Eric has a sense of humor and that's about it. Being 5'7, he's perceived as the least physical threat by the women. If he can buddy up with the girls, he's got a better shot, but I don't see it happening. For now, though, the fraternity of six foot steroid freaks will keep him around as their Big Brother version of Peter Pettigrew (Harry Potter reference for those of you who don't read.) After that, he's out and America's Player will be no more. Eddie's Odds of Eric Winning: Same as Eric "Cappy" from the previous season. Next to none...But I'll grant him numbers and say 16 to 1.

Jameka. I'm going to speak bluntly here, so don't get offended. I'm going to reveal an immutable truth about Jameka. She's this season's token black chick. She's a way of keeping the NAACP or whatever off of CBS's back, plain and simple. If it were not true, there'd be at least one other person of color in the house somewhere, as there have been in seasons past. She's a quota filler, nothing more. She's a floater and she'll be used to the benefit of other players. She has no one with whom she can truly align. Her best shot is to choose one of the gay guys and hope they'll watch each other's back. But that will only get her so far. And she'll be gone. I hate that this is true and I'm not saying it's excusable. I'm not saying it's justified. I'm not saying it's right in any way. But I am saying it's an obvious truth and anyone who can't face up to this simple fact is truly an ignorant racist. There are no asians in this year's contest. No one who would appear to be Indian or of Muslim faith. Just because Jen has a decent tan doesn't make her an ethnic minority. Jameka is alone in the house and soon she'll be outside the house. Right or wrong, it will happen just the same. And you can say you read it here first. Eddie's Odds of Jameka Winning: 100 to 1.

Jen. She cried over a PHOTOGRAPH! Are you kidding me? And then taped something over it so that the world couldn't see it? Honey, you're not that good looking! My Lord! Second, if she's that worried about your looks, my advice to anyone watching is get a degree in plastic surgery now, because 10 years from now, when things start to go south on ol' Jenny Girl, you're going to have one seriously frequent client on your hands! Looks fade, pud'n. What lasts is your heart and your mind. And judging by what I've seen so far, neither of yours is developed much above the level of an Alyson Irwin. But T&A got Alyson all the way to number 2 in her season. Of course, that same tactic got her booted rather quickly in All-stars but I digress. I don't think Jen can parlay big boobs and obsessive vanity into Big Brother Cash. She's got a better shot than some with those assets, but those assets won't get her the prize. In my opinion, she doesn't have enough brains. That'll be her undoing. Eddie's Odds of Jen Winning: 14 to 1.

Jessica. This girl just annoys me. That might be because I've only ever known two girls named Jessica that weren't complete and utter lying skank hoes, but I am not sure. She's like Holly and Janelle rolled into one. No brains and totally oblivious to the fact that her conceit makes her ten times uglier than any other woman in the house. I think she's got a few brains, just as Janelle proved to have, but I think it'll only get her so far. Ultimately she's not Big Brother winning material. And besides, with her "buddy" gone, why keep her around? There's no controversy. She's just a vote. Her only safety net is to promise her vote somewhere. That'll buy her some time, but she'll be gone eventually. Why? Because she annoys me. And eventually she'll annoy everyone else. But then I said the same thing about Janelle and she dang near won twice! Still, I think she'll be gone eventually. Eddie's Odds of Jessica Winning:  30 to 1

Joe. I hate to say it but he's not exactly a long shot to win. I don't think he'll win but he has a decent chance. It's just going to depend on which gay guy can convince the house he's the lesser of two evils. And let's face it. Joe came in with the "Original Eleven." If they see his attitude going from Jovial Joe to JackMonkey Joe, they'll probably diagnose Dustin as the problem and drop him like a bad habit. And there's very little anyone can do about that. Still, he really strikes me as an evil little prick. And to be honest, he reminds me of Marcellas, only far more feminine and much more of a liar and a whiner. If it was me, I'd kick him out in the first week, but it's not me and the people in the house never have my same way of thinking. So unfortunately I have to put up with him for a while. Lucky for me, he won't be around forever. He'll just be around a few more weeks than I'd be comfortable with. Eddie's Odds of Joe Winning: 6 to 1

Mike. Probably the best chance for a win here is Mike. Right now, no one knows that much about him. He's not approaching anyone for an alliance but he's being approached left and right. He's smart. He's letting others come to him. As weeks unfold here, I think we'll see Mike as almost a "Dr. Will" type. Crafty. Just hanging back. Remember, Dr. Will never won an HOH or POV yet he won season 2 and nearly won BB All-stars. I think this same strategy will serve Mike. Eddie's Odds of Mike Winning: 3 to 1

Nick. A former NFL player? For who? I don't recall him. Yanno, trying out for the team doesn't mean you were a former player. Anyone know what team he played for and if he did more than just shower with the guys at a practice? Anyway, he doesn't stand out for me as much more than a steroid freak. He'll ride coat tails. He'll serve folks in contests due to his physical prowess, but he's just the Big Brother mule. Doing the grunt work for those who don't want to have to do it themselves. He won't win, but the ultimate winne could wind up owing Nick for their success. Eddie's Odds of Nick Winning: 5 to 1

Zach. No doubt, he's this season's attempt at Howie Gordon. So far, I'm not entertained. And I don't think we have a "Busto" in this season, but maybe Kail could surprise me. Either way, I don't think he'll quite reach the level of humor and comic offensiveness by the playful Howie Gordon. And I don't really see him as much more than a second fiddle to the ultimate champ. Sort of like the "Four Horsemen" Alliance from seasons past. He'll ride the coat tails of others but he doesn't have the ability to truly be a leader. Maybe I'm wrong. It's early in the season. That's for sure. But coming up with this season's "Jack Shack" doesn't give me a sense of confidence about his intelligence. Eddie's Odds of Zach Winning: 12 to 1.

So there you have it. MIKE will be your ultimate winner. So will this be the first time in Big Brother history that two folks with the same name won it? Last year, Mike "Boogie" Malin won Big Brother All-Stars. Will another Mike take Big Brother season 8??? I guess you'll have to tune in for the next 3 months to find out, won't you? But in the meantime feel free to leave me your thoughts!

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2

I haven't been keeping up with what I consider to be a regular blogging schedule. Things have been very chaotic lately and I have to apologize for those of you who enjoy reading my occasional pointless ramblings.

First, the unimportant stuff. I'm on a mission (as many of you know) to get all of the state quarters. The program itself runs through 2008 with 5 coins being released each year. It's one of the hobbies (or whatever you'd like to call it) my son and I share. He has his map and I have mine. He's always asking me "Dad, what's the latest quarter that's out?" and of course I'm expected to know the answer at the drop of a hat. When you have 10,000 things on your mind, it's not always easy to keep the schedule straight in your head, but I do try because it's one of the few times my son has shown interest in something other than Gameboy and Legos. (Not that those are bad things. I'm just trying to expand his horizons a little. He's actually quite the little builder with his legos. Like father like son I believe.) Currently, we are both missing Washington (state) and Idaho. But in fairness, the US Mint's website does not officially have Idaho listed as being released. I just know that the schedule falls in such a way that the new coin is typically released in early to mid-June, so I know it's in circulation. Either way, we still don't have Washington and that one has been out since late March or early April.

We also want to start the presidential coins. If you haven't seen them, you should go to www.usmint.gov. The program is similar to the state quarters program, but they will be releasing 4 coins annually with the images of former presidents on them. And for those that are wondering, 2012 will see the release of TWO Grover Cleveland coins. This is being done because he was the only president to serve two non-consecutive terms in office. One coin will be issued for each of his two non-consecutive terms. (1885-1889 and 1893-1897 respectively. Benjamin Harrison served from 1889 to 1893.) Oddly, the program will feature presidents all the way through Gerald Ford (President number 38) but will not feature Ronald Reagan, despite the fact he has passed on. This is being done, I believe, because Jimmy Carter -- who served between Ford and Reagan -- is still living. Should Jimmy Carter die prior to 2016, it's likely that the Carter and Reagan coins will be issued. Likewise, should G.H.W. Bush die prior to 2017, his image will likely be the first to be featured in that year, followed by Bill Clinton and G.W. Bush, should he pass on prior to 2017. As Clinton and Bush Jr. are pretty young fellas, it's likely the program could stop (or take a very long pause) with Bush Sr.

While you're on the USMINT's website, be sure and check out the First Lady coins. They are calling it the "First Spouse" program, on the off chance that Hillary Clinton gets elected president in 2008. After all, Bill wouldn't make a very good First Lady now would he? Personally, I just pray it's not an omen of things to come. If Hillary gets elected president, I swear I'm going to consider moving to Canada, or maybe Cuba. Somewhere the leader isn't such a tyrant.

Those of you who are on the "Sister" watch have been very patient with me, as my family is essentially forced to wait for news from doctors who seem more interested in their golf games than in solving the mystery behind my sister's elevated white blood count. I thank you for your continued prayers and your messages of hope and support.

As you've read, if you've been keeping up with my myspace bulletins, we took Little Man to Shreveport this week to have things looked at. He is scheduled to have his surgery on August 15th at 10:00 a.m. in Shreveport. For those who haven't been keeping up, this is to correct a relatively minor case of hypospadias. He's had two surgeries in the past. One at 12 months, one at 18 months. But the problem still exists. We are hoping this will correct the issue once and for all but the truth is you just never know. Again, I've been touched by your well wishes and messages of encouragement. The good news is that he should be bouncing off the walls within a couple of days of the surgery.And he doesn't start back to school until August 27th, so he should heal in plenty of time to begin 4th grade with a new attitude!

On the writing front, I'm disappointed to say there's not much happening. There is a lot in the planning and development stages but I've been rather inundated with personal life issues lately and haven't had much time for actual work toward this goal. Samantha and I have a couple of side projects we're wanting to work on, along with Indiesearchlight. They're local projects which probably won't interest many of you, but they will be very writing-oriented and I do believe they'll keep us both more focused on our individual careers.

To a similar end, I believe I will hear something fairly soon on the manuscript for In The Breath of God's sequel. I have been praying about it very hard (as have several family members and friends) so I'm doing my best to be patient and trust in God's work. It may not be that I've yet discovered the right direction but even Thomas Edison failed thousands of times before he succeeded. And I rather like his attitude when he said something to the effect "I haven't failed. I've merely discovered thousands of ways a light bulb will not work." I like that. To that end, I don't believe I have failed to publish my book. I've merely discovered hundreds of paths that don't lead to publication. That experience will benefit me in the long run because I can teach others to avoid these pitfalls and dead ends. In the meantime, all I can say to the fans of Alex Mendez, et al, is BE PATIENT. I am already working on the next two stories in the series and I know you will be very pleased and excited to read the continuing adventures of the Mendez clan. They get in some pretty hair-raising predicaments along the way. And if you know me, you'll not be surprised to find out they don't come out entirely unscathed. You'll meet some new faces and, possibly, say goodbye to some favorites. But no matter what, I do believe you will be satisfied with the way the story is progressing. I know that I'm excited to see the characters grow and develop. What time I've been able to spend with them in the past several weeks has been refreshing, invigorating and, at times, bittersweet.

Life is not slowing down for me. Quite the contrary, it's gaining momentum, seemingly with every breath I take. Thank God I feel ready for it. It might overwhelm me in the long run, but I am ready to be overwhelmed. I'm ready to take on new challenges and face the fruits of my labor, whatever that may mean.

Until that time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2

This weekend, we took a trip to Dallas and visited the Dallas World Aquarium. Little Man is a huge animal freak and, to be honest, I love sea creatures so we were all pretty excited. Kelly and I decided to take him because he'd really worked hard to get his grades up and to pass the TAKS test this year. (The TAKS test is the Texas version of the state standardized testing. In Florida they refer to it as the FCAT. Not sure about other states. But basically it's a general way of evaluating whether or not a student has a grasp on the minimum skills required to go to the next grade -- in this case, fourth grade.)

The weekend was very fun, but very busy. The bad thing about taking a weekend trip somewhere is that you don't get to rest, so you come to work on Monday more tired than you were on Friday. But he deserved the reward and I'd do it again under the same circumstance.

This week, he has Cub Scout Day Camp. He leaves Gilmer at about 7:00 a.m. (his cubmaster drives him to the campsite it Longview) and we finally get him back somewhere along 6:00 I'm guessing. Just in time for dinner, I guess. It's a long day, but a day filled with fun, learning and plenty of physical activity to keep him fit and trim and healthy. He's been in Cub Scouts for a while now. Going into his first year of Webelos scouts. It's a two-year deal that precedes actual Boy Scouts, and boy the requirements are pretty tough for a 9 to 10 year old fella. The funny thing is he'll come away from Day Camp (at the end of this week) nearly 2/3 of the way finished with the requirements for Webelos. Needless to say, they pack quite a lot in this one week. And there are other campouts periodically throughout the year where he could theoretically earn more patches, badges, pins and awards. We'll have to see how that goes.

One of the campouts is called "Dad and Lad." It's basically a campout strictly for fathers and sons (Or grandfathers, uncles, big brothers, cousins...whoever... just a male adult and a scout.) He's been in scouting through the bobcat, wolf and bear years and I can honestly say we've never been to a Dad and Lad. Truth is I don't know that I'd ever feel comfortable taking him. Wheelchairs and outdoors don't mix very well. And, if I'm being totally honest, Eddie and camping doesn't mix very well either. So, because my son has a disabled man for a father, he has to miss out on what could be a fun time. I've thought about asking a friend here or there to step in and "be dad" for a weekend, but I never do. Anymore, most of my friends are busy with their own kids and the ones that aren't are busy with other things, so why bother them with something else, yanno?

As to the writing scene, not much is happening right now. I am going through a refocusing phase right now. With the follow-up to In The Breath of God finished, I am seeking representation/publication while trying to work on the next one in the series. Honestly, I'm finding it a bit difficult, what with the fate of its predecessor still in uncertain limbo. It sounds weird but I just feel strange trying to continue a story that, itself, seems to be on pause. I've submitted the story to Blooming Tree Press. When I spoke to her at the NETWO conference, she truly seemed enthusiastic about the story, so I'm keeping a very upbeat frame of mind as far as that goes. I just wish I'd hear something. This is the tough part about the writing biz. The waiting game. I don't like to put all my eggs in one basket but I've really done that this time. I have had such a strong, positive feeling that (to use a phrase from Texas Hold em Poker) I went "all in". I bet it all on this one shot and if it doesn't pay off, it's back to square one. (A place I'm beginning to find quite familiar, I'm sad to say.)

On Saturday, I caught myself saying to Kelly "I'm just waiting for something to happen." No sooner had I said it, I thought "If you're just waiting, you're not making things happen. And you're not a writer. You're a waiter." So, as I said, I'm in a phase of refocusing my writing career. I'm evaluating past efforts, redefining future goals and, ideally, developing a flexible plan for the ultimate success of those goals. Where this path will take me is anyone's guess. But I'm ready. And this time I'm not waiting for something to happen. I'm looking for a way to make something happen. So if you have any ideas, feel free to share them. I'm a blank slate right now. Paint me, Dear Lord. Paint me with your Heavenly rainbow. Fill this blank canvass with the colors of your choosing. My only request. Warn me before you use pink, okay?

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the artful letters W, E and H and by the dynamic designs of the number 2.

Imagine that! A writer blogging on the subject of WRITING! What a NOVEL concept! (get it? Writer... Novel...Okay anyway... moving on)

This is going to be a short blog, mostly because I think the topic has been somewhat "done to death." However, I just can't help but chime in with a thought that's been bugging me for days now.

You've probably heard many "new" writers compared to writers of more fame and renown. ("He's the next John Grisham!" "She's Lisa Gardener made over!")

I often critique the query letters of fellow writers who include the astounding prediction that they are the next Stephen King or the next Dean Koontz or the next (fill in the blank here). I tell them what any industry insider will tell them. Don't be the next anyone. Be the FIRST you. Period.

It is somewhat true that all the basic plots have been done. All a writer can do is bring his or her own spin to a topic that's probably been explored 1000 times. (Case in point? This blog!) You have to bring something fresh to the table. Something that the agents, editors, publishers and (most importantly) reading public haven't seen before. Or at least something they haven't seen in a while. If you're just going to rehash something that James Patterson wrote last year, you're doomed to failure. Number one, James Patterson didn't write that book "last year." Chances are he wrote it 3 to 5 years ago, submitted it to the publisher and it went to press sometime in the ensuing 12 to 24 months. So anything you'd copy from another writer's "last year" is actually several years old. (And most likely being copied by 100 others trying to make their big break).

One of the worst rebukes I ever got from an agent (about 10 years ago or so) was a very simple hand-scrawled note on my cover letter: "It's been done to death."

Of course, in my youthful exuberance, my mind screamed "not by ME!" But in the end, the agent had a point. Even if it hadn't been done "by me," there was nothing new on the page. Nothing fresh. Nothing that would stand out from the crowd to say "look at this!" Did I quit? No, of course not. I kept on writing. (Full disclosure: I did put that manuscript aside, after a couple years of tinkering. As I matured, I just began to think that the time for this story wasn't right. Perhaps someday I will revisit it. For now, it is locked safely away where only I can mourn the story that never was.)

The point of this somewhat rambling diatribe is very simple. Be the first you. If you have to be the "next" something, be the next bestseller. And the only way to do that is to be the FIRST you.

Be original. Find your voice. Find your angle. Find your spin. Find that extra something you can bring to it and give the story a new twist. Frankenstein in a ballerina costume takes the story down an entirely different path!

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2.

They say we don't need prayer in public schools. For those who truly feel that way, I'd like for you to look at the list below. (And if you don't feel that way, you should look at this list, because it will reinforce everything you feel!)

First a bit of back ground information. Prior to the interference of one Madalyn Murray O'Hair, prayer was allowed in public schools. Even before we were a nation, prayer in the English Colonies was a regular occurence in public schools. But let's focus on America. We became a nation in 1789, with the defeat of the British. Here is a list of school shootings from 1789 to 1960, when Murray O'Hair first launched her landmark quest to remove God from public schools (A decision was rendered in 1963 by the way)

April 9, 1891 Newburgh, New York

May 18, 1927 Bath, Michigan,

June 4, 1936 Bethlehem, Pennsylvania,

November 13, 1949 Columbus, Ohio,

May 15, 1954 Chapel Hill, North Carolina,

---------
Now, here is a list of school shootings since 1963, when the Supreme Court sided with Murray O'Hair in deciding that prayer should be removed from public schools.

(These are not all in Chronological order as they are above)

August 1, 1966 Austin, Texas, 
16 dead,
31 injured
Charles Whitman pointed a rifle from the observation deck of the University of Texas at Austin's Tower and began shooting in a homicidal rampage that went on for 96 minutes. Sixteen people were killed, 31 wounded.

May 4, 1970 Kent, Ohio,
United States 
4 dead, 10 injured
National Guard open fire on student protesters at Kent State University during an anti-Vietnam rally, killing 4 and wounding 10. See Kent State University shootings for more information.

May 14-15, 1970 Jackson, Mississippi,
United States
2 dead,
12 injured
Jackson State killings. Police kill two and injure twelve students during Vietnam War riots.

April 5, 1982 Hot Springs, Arkansas,
United States
2 dead

Kelvin Love, a student at Garland County Community College, killed an instructor and another student. 

December 17, 1983 Ithaca, New York,
United States
2 dead

Non-student Su Yong Kim enters the Low Rise 7 dormitory and kills Cornell University freshmen Young Hee Suh and Erin Nieswand with a rifle.

November 1, 1991 Iowa City, Iowa,
United States 
6 dead,
1 injured
After his dissertation did not win a certain academic award, Ph.D. physics student Gang Lu shot six people before committing suicide. Five were killed, including three professors. A student employee was paralyzed. 

December 14, 1992 Great Barrington, Massachusetts,
United States 
2 dead,
"several" injured
 Armed with a SKS carbine, 18-year-old Simon's Rock College of Bard student Wayne Lo killed a professor and a student and wounded several others. He was convicted of murder and sentenced to life imprisonment without parole.

January 26, 1995 Chapel Hill, North Carolina,
United States
2 dead,
2 injured
Wendell Williamson, a law student and schizophrenic, opened fire on Franklin Street with an M-1 rifle, killing two and injuring two others, including a Chapel Hill police officer. 

September 17, 1996 University Park, Pennsylvania,
United States 
1 dead,
1 injured
 Hetzel Union Building shooting. 19 year old Jillian Robbins opened fire on students walking to classes at The Pennsylvania State University, killing one student and wounding another.

October 16, 1996 West Lafayette, Indiana,
United States 
2 dead
On October 15, 1996 Jay Severson, 27 a Wiley Hall counselor at Purdue University caught Jarrod Allen Eskew, 19 of Crawfordsville, Indiana cutting cocaine in his dorm room. Severson called the Purdue Police Department but when they arrived Eskew had fled. Eskew returned the next day at 2:50 pm with a sawed off 12-gauge shotgun while under the influence of both marijuana and cocaine. Eskew went to Severson's Wiley Hall dorm room and fatally shot Severson in the head. He then barricaded himself in his third floor dorm room. A janitor found the body a short time later. SWAT and police took up positions around Wiley Hall. Police evacuated Wiley Hall, attempted to negotiate, fired tear gas, and stormed the room to find Eskew had taken his own life with the shotgun. [20][21]

January 16, 2002 Grundy, Virginia,
United States 
3 dead,
3 injured
Appalachian School of Law shooting. 43-year-old Appalachian School of Law student Peter Odighizuwa shot and killed the Law School Dean, Contracts Professor and another student; three others were wounded . The incident was ended when two students with personal firearms subdued the shooter. He was sentenced to multiple life terms in prison. Peter 'O' was a Nigerian student attending the school on a student visa. The school later settled a lawsuit by some of the surviving victims and their families brought over the schools failure to take action when the student showed signs of psychosis and made threats. 

October 28, 2002 Tucson, Arizona,
United States 
4 dead
Three nursing professors were shot dead at the University of Arizona by a student failing the nursing program. Robert J. Flores, Jr., 41, shot and killed Robin Rogers, 50, Barbara Monroe, 45, and Cheryl McGaffic, 44 before turning the gun on himself. Two of the teachers were shot in a classroom and the gunman allowed the students to leave before killing himself.

May 9, 2003 Cleveland, Ohio,
United States 
1 dead,
2 injured
Biswanath Halder, a 62-year-old man, opened fire with an automatic weapon on his former school, Case Western Reserve University. He killed one student, seriously wounded two others, and kept over 90 people hiding for their lives for seven hours. After vigorous and bullet-ridden gun battles with school police and SWAT officers, Halder surrendered and was sentenced to life in prison.

September 3, 2006 Shepherdstown, West Virginia,
United States
3 dead
Douglas W. Pennington, 49, killed his sons Logan P. Pennington, 26, and Benjamin M. Pennington, 24, during a visit to the campus at Shepherd University before shooting and killing himself. The shootings occurred at about 2 p.m.

September 17, 2006 Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
United States
 ... 5 injured
Shots are fired outside Duquesne University's Vickroy Hall after a dance party sponsored by the Black Student Union which several non-students were attending. Five members of the Duquesne Dukes basketball team were injured during the shooting including one who sustained critical injuries after an argument between 1 individual and 2 students.

April 16, 2007 Blacksburg, Virginia,
United States 
33 dead,
25 injured
The Virginia Tech massacre was the single most deadly civilian gunfire incident in American higher education history. It occurred at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University. Thirty-three people were killed including the gunman (Seung-Hui Cho) in two separate locations, about two hours apart: West Ambler Johnston Hall, where two were shot dead, and Norris Hall, where the remaining 31, including the gunman, were shot, in an attack lasting nine minutes. Police reported that 25 others were injured, some in the Norris Hall shooting, others when they jumped from second-story windows to escape

December 30, 1974 Olean, New York,
United States 
 4 dead,
11 injured
 18-year-old honor student Anthony Barbaro blockaded himself into a third story classroom at his high school and opened fire on those below, killing three people and wounding eleven. He later hanged himself while awaiting trial. A drama was written about the incident entitled Sniper.

January 21, 1985 Kansas,
United States 
1 dead,
4 injured
Armed with an M-1A Semi-Automatic Rifle and a .357 Pistol, 14 year old James Kearbey fatally shot his principal and wounded 3 other teachers and a student at Goddard Junior High School.

March 2, 1987 Missouri,
United States 
2 dead
After constant teasing and humiliation about his weight, Nathan Ferris armed himself with a pistol and killed a fellow student after he bullied him in class. He then turned the gun on himself.

January 8, 1991 Richardson, Texas,
United States
1 dead
Jeremy Wade Delle brought a .357 magnum to Richardson High School and committed suicide in front of his class of about 30 students. This incident inspired Pearl Jam's song Jeremy.
 
May 1, 1992 Olivehurst, California,
United States 
4 dead,
10 injured
Armed with a pistol, 20-year-old Eric Houston took hostages at his former high school, killing four people and wounding 10. His motive was his inability to find a good job due to the fact that he had failed a grade at school. He was given the death penalty for the shooting. The 1994 film Hostage High is directly based on the shooting.

January 18, 1993 Grayson, Kentucky,
United States
2 dead
17-year-old East Carter High School student Scott Pennington fatally shot his English teacher and a school janitor with a pistol. 

March 25, 1994 Cherokee County, Georgia,
United States
1 dead
Brian Head, 15, shot and killed himself during his high school economics class at Etowah High School. Head had been a longtime target for bullies because of his weight and thick glasses. His father, Bill, subsequently successfully lobbied for a law that criminalized bullying and required schools to alert parents of bullied children.

May 26, 1994 Union, Kentucky,
United States 
 ? dead
Clay Shrout kills his family and holds hostages later at school.

October 12, 1994 Greensboro, North Carolina,
United States 
1 dead,
1 injured
Nicholas Atkinson, a 16 year old Grimsley High School student, returned to campus after being suspended and shot and wounded the assistant principal with a 9mm handgun before committing suicide.

November 15, 1995 Lynnville, Tennessee,
United States 
2 dead,
1 injured
The Richland High School shooting occurred when 17-year-old Jamie Rouse walked into the Richland School and shot two teachers in the head, killing one, armed with a .22 Remington Viper. He then fired at the football coach, but hit a 14-year-old freshman in the neck, wounding her. 

February 2, 1996 Moses Lake, Washington,
United States 
3 dead,
1 injured
 Armed with a high-powered hunting rifle and two handguns, 14-year-old Barry Loukaitis killed his algebra teacher and two students before taking hostages. He also shot a girl in the arm, who he released during the hostage situation. The incident ended when a teacher burst into the room and tackled him. Loukaitis is now serving life in prison.

February 19, 1997 Bethel, Alaska,
United States 
2 dead,
2 injured
 Armed with a pump-action 12 gauge shotgun, Evan Ramsey killed a student and the principal of Bethel High School, and wounded two others. He is now serving a 210 year sentence. 

October 1, 1997 Pearl, Mississippi,
United States
3 dead,
7 injured
16-year-old Luke Woodham stabbed and beat his mother to death, then took a lever-action rifle to Pearl High School where he shot into a crowd of students, killing his ex-girlfriend Christina Menefee and her friend Lydia Kay Dew and wounded seven other students. Woodham later claimed that he did not remember killing his mother.

December 2, 1997 West Paducah, Kentucky,
United States
3 dead,
5 injured
 A 14-year old high school freshman opened fire on a prayer circle at his school killing three students and injuring five.

March 24, 1998 Jonesboro, Arkansas,
United States 
 4 dead,
10 injured
 Jonesboro massacre. 13-year-old Mitchell Johnson and 11-year-old Andrew Golden set off the fire alarm in their Jonesboro school and then, from the woods, open fire on classmates and teachers as they flee the building. Four female students and a teacher are killed, with nine other students and a teacher being wounded in the incident.

April 24, 1998 Edinboro, Pennsylvania,
United States 
1 dead,
3 injured
14-year-old Andrew J. Wurst went to the school graduation dance where he shot and killed a popular science teacher. He subsequently opened fire on more students, wounding another teacher and two classmates before he ran out of ammunition.

May 21, 1998 Springfield, Oregon,
United States 
4 dead,
25 injured
Kip Kinkel opened fire with a .22 rifle at Thurston Senior High School, killing 2 students and wounding 25 before being tackled by a wounded student. His parents were later found at home, murdered by Kinkel. He is now serving 111 years in prison without parole.

June 15, 1998 Richmond, Virginia,
United States
2 injured
14-year-old Quinshawn Booker fired a pistol in a crowded hallway of Armstrong High School, injuring two adults, as other students were taking final exams.

April 20, 1999 Littleton, Colorado,
United States 
15 dead,
24 injured
 Columbine High School Massacre. Two teenage students, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, carried out a shooting rampage, killing 12 students and a teacher, as well as wounding 24 others, before committing suicide. Eric had a history of violence. Born in Flint, Michigan, a gun loving city. He was exposed to guns at a very early age. This is the city of which held the record for youngest school shooter. 6 year old, Dedrick Owens. But Dylan Klebold had a normal live, that is before meeting Eric Harris. 

May 20, 1999 Conyers, Georgia,
United States 
6 injured
15-year-old Thomas J. Solomon used a .22 rifle and .357 handgun to wound six classmates at Heritage High School before surrendering to a teacher. Due to the ongoing investigation surrounding Columbine (Which happened barely a month prior!), this event went largely unreported in the media at the time.

December 6, 1999 Fort Gibson, Oklahoma,
United States 
4 injured
Armed with a 9mm pistol and carrying over 100 rounds of ammunition, 13 year old Seth Trickey opened fire on a crowd of students, wounding four.

October, 2000 Glendale, Arizona,
United States
no injuries
Sean Botkin armed with a S&W Sigma 9mm. infiltrated Pioneer wearing a Russian BDU (battle dress uniform) with communist hammer and sickle insignias, to hold his former 8th grade class hostage for several hours. After several hours of negotiation, Botkin released hostages periodically in groups of ten. The situation eventually ended peacefully with Botkin surrendering to the police. 

March 5, 2001 Santee, California,
United States
2 dead,
13 injured
Armed with .22 revolver, 15-year-old Charles Andrew Williams opened fire in a boy's bathroom at Santana High School, killing two students. He then exited the bathroom and shot at nearby students, wounding 13. Shortly afterwards he retreated back into the toilets where he surrendered to police.

March 7, 2001 Williamsport, Pennsylvania,
United States
 ... 1 injured (?)
An eighth grade girl shot another eighth grade girl at Bishop Neumann Junior-Senior High School. This was the first time a shooting occurred in a Catholic school and one of only four known incidents in which the main perpetrator was female.

March 22, 2001 El Cajon, California,
United States 
2 injured
Jason Hoffman shoots inside Granite Hills High School wounding two classmates

April 14, 2003 New Orleans, Louisiana,
United States
1 dead,
4 injured
 At 10:30 AM, several men armed with an AK-47 entered the school gymnasium of John McDonogh High School and executed Jonathan "Caveman" Williams, a football player. The killers fired at least 18 times, shattering Williams' face and injuring three neighboring girls. A stampede of students trampled a pregnant girl.

April 24, 2003 Red Lion, York County, Pennsylvania,
United States 
2 dead
Red Lion Area Junior High School Murder/Suicide. 14-year-old James Sheets fatally shot his school principal in the cafeteria of his middle school before committing suicide.

September 24, 2003 Cold Spring, Minnesota,
United States
2 dead
Rocori High School shooting. 15-year-old Jason McLaughlin shot Aaron Rollins and Seth Bartell at Rocori High School with a .22 pistol. Rollins died the same day; Bartell died October 10 of injuries sustained in the attack.

February 2, 2004 Washington, D.C.,
United States 
1 dead
19 year old Thomas J. Boykin fatally shot 17 year old James Richardson at Ballou Senior High School. Boykin was later acquitted on the charge of murder.

February 3, 2004 Palmetto Bay, Florida,
United States 
1 dead
14-year old Michael Hernandez stabbed and slit the throat of a 14-year-old classmate, Jaime Rodrigo Gough, while in a restroom at Southwood Middle School. Hernandez was tried as an adult, and sentenced to life in prison without parole. A search of his home revealed he had concocted plans to murder several classmates and even his older sister. His journal revealed he was obsessed with perfection, and admired Hitler and the Nazis.

February 9, 2004 East Greenbush, New York,
United States 
1 injured
Jon William Romano brought a 12-gauge Winchester shot-gun into Columbia High School and text messaged his friends from the bathroom to "get out" and minutes later began walking through the hallways and firing shots. One teacher was hit in the leg and no other people were shot.

May 7, 2004 Randallstown, Maryland,
United States 
4 injured
18-year-old Matthew McCullough and 24-year-old Tyrone Devon Brown shot four students of Randallstown High School following a brawl with football players in a parking lot. One of the victims was left partially paralysed.

September 27, 2004 Romeo, Michigan,
United States
1 injured
Former Romeo High School student Eric Schorling entered the school and stabbed his ex-girlfriend, Nicole Lambert, in the back with a kitchen knife as she walked to class. Schorling was convicted of assault with attempt to murder; Lambert has since recovered.

October 7, 2004 Newburyport, Massachusetts,
United States
1 dead
A 15 year old boy committed suicide near his high school. He was reportedly despondent after breaking up with his girlfriend.

December 10, 2004 Nine Mile Falls, Washington,
United States
1 dead
A 16 year old boy killed himself with a handgun in his high school and the gunshot sent the faculty into panic, causing them to lockdown the school. A canister containing fireworks, shotgun shells and rifle cartridges was later found in the boy's backpack.

March 21, 2005 Red Lake, Minnesota,
United States 
10 dead,
12+ injured
Red Lake High School massacre. Jeffrey Weise, a student at Red Lake High School in Red Lake, Beltrami County, Minnesota, killed his grandfather and his girlfriend before killing seven more people at the school including a teacher and a security guard. Weise then took his own life. 

October 21, 2005 Saginaw, Michigan,
United States
1 injured (?)
16-year-old Clarence Russell III shot Daniel Foster in the halls of Saginaw High School. Russell

November 8, 2005 Jacksboro, Tennessee,
United States 
1 dead,
2 injured
 After reports that a freshman had a handgun, the principal and two assistant principals confronted student Kenneth Bartley Jr., who opened fire on them, killing one of the assistant principals and wounding the two others.

January 13, 2006 Longwood, Florida,
United States
1 dead
15 year old Chris Penley brought a handgun to Milwee Middle School, and held his class hostage for a short time before eventually being fatally shot in a bathroom by police. It was soon discovered that the gun was actually a pellet gun, causing controversy over whether his death was justified. 

February, 2006 Bellaire, Texas,
United States
1 injured
A boy at Bellaire High School stabbed another boy in a stairwell. The victim survived the stabbing, and the attacker was arrested and prosecuted. 

February 23, 2006 Roseburg, Oregon,
United States 
1 dead (?)
14-year-old Vincent Leodoro stole a 10 mm handgun from his stepfather's home and brought it to school where he shot 15 year old Joseph Monti in the back. When Monti fell to the ground, Leodoro shot Monti a further 3 times.

March 14, 2006 Reno, Nevada,
United States 
2 injured
Pine Middle School shooting. 14-year-old James Newman brought his father's revolver to Pine Middle School and wounded two students. He was sentenced to house arrest and community service, which outraged several members of the public when he was not sentenced to prison. 

May 25, 2006 Northampton, Pennsylvania,
United States
no injuries
An 18 year old Max Brotzman brought a 22-caliber rifle, among other weapons, into school in a guitar case to kill himself. He did not succeed. 
 
September 16, 2006 St. Louis, Missouri,
United States 
1 injured
A senior student of Westminster High School, Austin Vincent, reportedly text-messaged his friend, saying he would commit suicide. This was later forwarded to a counselor, who called the police. He did not attend school on September 16. School got out at 3:00, and he arrived around 3:45. He got out of his mother's car holding a rifle. Police were already on the scene. Vincent reportedly pointed the rifle at his head, then waved it at the police. Officers took 3 shots, and he was hit in the leg by at least one. He was taken to a hospital in stable condition. He would later be tried as an adult.

September 27, 2006 Bailey, Colorado,
United States 
2 dead,
6 injured
A gunman, later identified as 53-year-old Duane Morrison of Denver, took six female students hostage at Platte Canyon High School. After sexually assaulting some of them, he released four of the hostages. When 16-year-old Emily Keyes tried to run away, Morrison shot her in the back of the head before killing himself. Keyes was flown to St. Anthony Central Hospital in Denver, where she died a short time later. 

October 2, 2006 Las Vegas, Nevada,
United States
no injuries
An ex-student of Mojave High School went on campus with a gun, his motive unknown at the time. Students recognized him as not being a student anymore and notified school police immediately. The suspect ran from the school and ditched his gun behind a church close to Mojave. Mojave, as well as 3 middle schools and 1 elementary school were placed on lockdown while police searched for him. 

October 9, 2006 Joplin, Missouri,
United States
no injuries
A 13-year-old student fired a cheap imitation AK-47 inside his middle school after confronting two others students and his principal. The student was wearing a mask and had pointed the gun at the principal, the assistant superintendent and two students, saying, "please don't make me do this". After firing a shot into the ceiling and breaking a water pipe, the student's gun jammed when he attempted to fire additional shots. The student was then confronted by police officers and taken into custody. The identity of this student is yet to be released. Officers also found a note in the student's backpack indicating that he had placed an explosive in the school (which has 700 students). No one was injured in the incident.

October 17, 2006 Fort Bend County, Texas,
United States
1 dead
A Seven Lakes High School student committed suicide outside the cafeteria. The school was forced into lockdown for about two hours while the school officials fielded concerns of worried parents, who found out via texting of Seven Lakes students. No other students were hurt, nor did the teen plan on hurting any other student. Though he was not pronounced dead immediately, he was declared DOA as soon as his parents were notified.

August 30, 2006 Hillsborough, North Carolina,
United States
1 dead,
2 injured
19-year-old Alvaro Rafael Castillo opened fire at Orange High School with a rifle and shotgun, shooting eight times and wounding two students. Officers ordered him to stop firing and he immediately complied. Castillo killed his father with a firearm before driving to school in a van. In the van police officers found ammunition, pipe bombs, and other weapons. Castillo will be charged with first-degree murder in the death of his father while charges for the school shooting are pending.

January 26, 2007 Uninc. Los Angeles County, California
United States
1 dead
Gang members entered Drew Middle School and opened fire. A 23-year old visitor named Demetrius Perry died.

March 7, 2007 Midland, Michigan,
United States
1 dead,
1 injured
17-year old David Turner shot 17-year old Jessica Forsyth four times outside Herbert Henry Dow High School before killing himself in the parking lot.

April 10, 2007 Gresham, Oregon,
United States 
10 injured
High school freshman Chad Escobedo shoots the windows out of two classrooms from outside Springwater Trail High School injuring ten students with shrapnel and broken glass, two of which required stitches. His motive was to shoot at a class in which he was enrolled, unhappy that the instructor had called his parents; the classrooms he hit, however, were not his intended target

April 18, 2007 Huntersville, North Carolina,
United States
1 dead
A 16-year-old threatened students in the parking lot at North Mecklenberg High School with a gun and shot himself at a local gas station when confronted by police. Four Charlotte-Mecklenberg schools went on lockdown.

January 29, 1979 San Diego, California,
United States
2 dead,
9 injured
Armed with a .22 rifle 16-year-old Brenda Ann Spencer opened fire at Cleveland Elementary School. She wounded eight children and one police officer and killed two adults. When the six-hour incident ended, she was asked of her motive for the killing, to which she shrugged and infamously replied "I don't like Mondays. This livens up the day." 
 
January 20, 1983 Saint Louis, Missouri,
United States 
2 dead,
1 injured
 During a study hall period at Parkway South Junior High school, eighth grader David F. Lawler used two pistols to kill a fifteen-year-old classmate and severely wound another before turning the guns on himself.

May 20, 1988 Winnetka, Illinois,
United States
2 dead,
6 injured
 30-year-old Laurie Dann walked into a second grade classroom at Hubbard Woods Elementary School carrying three pistols and began shooting children, killing eight-year-old Nicholas Corwin and wounding five others before fleeing. She entered a nearby house where she shot and wounded a 20-year-old man before killing herself.

September 26, 1988 Greenwood, South Carolina,
United States
2 dead,
9 injured
19 year old James Wilson opened fire at Oakland Elementary School, killing two eight year old girls and wounding nine others, seven of whom were children. He had been taking several psychiatric drugs at the time, including Valium, Halcion, and Xanax. 

October 2, 2006 Lancaster County, Pennsylvania,
United States 
6 dead
Amish school shooting. A 32-year-old milk-tank truck driver, took hostages and eventually killed five girls (aged 7-13) and then killed himself at West Nickel Mines School, a one-room Amish schoolhouse.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_school_massacres

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_massacre

 Well known shooters

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold - Perpetrators of Columbine massacre, killed 13

Michael Carneal - Perpetrator of the Heath High School Shooting

Laurie Dann - Perpetrator of Hubbard Woods Elementary School shooting

Brenda Ann Spencer - Perpetrator of the Cleveland Elementary School shooting, killed 2

Seung-hui Cho - Perpetrator of the Virginia Tech massacre, killed 32

Valery Fabrikant - Perpetrator of the Concordia University massacre

Kimveer Gill - Perpetrator of the Dawson shooting

Andrew Golden - Co-perpetrator of Jonesboro massacre

Thomas Hamilton - Perpetrator of the Dunblane massacre

Mitchell Johnson - Co-perpetrator of Jonesboro massacre

Kip Kinkel - Killed parents and 2 students at Thurston High School

Marc Lépine (Gamil Rodrigue Gharbi) - Perpetrator of Ecole Polytechnique massacre, killed 14

Dedrick Owens - Youngest school shooter

Charles Carl Roberts IV - Perpetrator of the Amish school shooting

Robert Steinhäuser - Perpetrator of the Erfurt massacre

Jeff Weise - Perpetrator of the Red Lake massacre

Charles Whitman - Perpetrator of the University of Texas at Austin Tower Massacre

And one final footnote: Madalyn Murray O'Hair founded American Atheists. Her son, William J. Murray (who was the child behind the landmark 1963 ruling) would later convert to christianity and write several books advocating the rights and responsibilities of all children to pray in school.

http://www.wjmurray.com/

Madalyn Murray O'Hair (along with her other son and granddaughter) were brutally murdered sometime around 1995 by at least one member of her own organization.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madalyn_Murray_O'Hair

But we don't need prayer in public schools....

Until next time this blog is brought to you by the PRAYING letters W, E and H in the fellowship of the number 2

It's been a wild ride for me over the last couple of weeks. I've been so addled and inundated with work that I haven't had time to sit down and really just write it all down. Having done so just prior to blogging, I must say it's quite odd to think that I packed all these events into basically the last two weeks.

* Those of you who are new to my friends list won't know this, but a couple of weeks ago, I lost a dear family member, Lee Hobbs. He was my grandfather's cousin, so we are distantly related, but we've always been relatively close. He left behind his second wife and two daughters. Not only was he a family member. I have been living in a duplex he owned for the last 4 or 5 years. When I moved back to Texas, Lee was gracious and generous enough to let me live here at a monthly rental rate that is probably 2/3 what he could have gotten from anyone else in today's market. He didn't need the money. He let me live here because I needed a home. His generous spirit will never be forgotten.

* Just days after Lee's passing, my dear friend Julie Cain called me with news that her father had passed away. Andrew Cain was 84 years old. He was a scout master, a church leader and a science teacher to generations of children. To say he was a great man is one of the biggest understatements of the century. He was inventive. He was creative. He was fun. He was interesting. He was inspiring. In the last several years, I'd managed to lose touch with so many folks, as people tend to do over the years. Sadly, I never got a chance to tell Mr. Cain how much I loved and appreciated him. I do hope he knows it now.

*As many of you know (if you read my bulletin this morning) Little Man passed his TAKS test. As I explained, the TAKS test is Texas' version of the state standardized testing system meant to help us compete with the standards set by the national government. Supposedly it means we're just as smart as Japanese kids and what not. I'm not sure if it's necessarily an accurate depiction of that, but I do know that my son is intensely smart, curious and creative and I couldn't be a prouder papa if I tried! WOOT WOOT!

* April 27th and 28th, I attended the writer's conference for the North East Texas Writer's Association (NETWO). The conference was held at Lake Bob Sandlin, specifically at Camp Shiloh. You talk about a beautiful place! If nothing else, two days there got my writer's juices flowing just because of the scenery! But in all honesty the conference itself was tremendous! I got to network with close to 100 of the friendliest and most talented writers I've ever known, including Dusty Richards, Joe Lansdale, Betsey Haynes and Jane Graves, (Who was mortified to learn that she'd named a character after my ex-wife, but it was a hilarious revelation nonetheless! And she did assure me that the character who holds my ex-wife's name goes through hell and back before finally developing a redeeming character for which she is rewarded with a decent life. I figure I can live with that. At least she has to reach rock bottom first.)

The conference also included Editor and Publisher Stacey Barney from Putnam, Miriam Goderich, a New York literary agent and Miriam Hees, a publisher from Austin, Texas. While I did not get a one-on-one with Ms. Barney, I had the honor of hearing her speak and was very much entertained and informed. Mrs. Goderich was gracious enough to offer me a few minutes of her time. She gave me invaluable feedback on my manuscript idea and on the Mendez series in general. Needless to say I left the meeting a much better writer, just having spent time with her. Mrs. Hees agreed to read a sample of my work and had glowing things to say. She told me I really know how to "write a good sentence..." going on to say "That sounds like a strange way for me to start off, but basick good sentence structure is not always easy to find..." Needless to say I could have stopped reading her remarks right there and been just fine! (But I didn't stop there and I gained very valuable advice from her as well.) She suggested a few minor changes. (Agreeing with Mrs. Goderich on some things, disagreeing on others, which just proves the industry is very subjective.) Still, I took all of their advice to heart and have incorporated it into an update to the manuscript. After incorporating the changes Mrs. Hees and Mrs. Goderich suggested, Mrs. Hees actually agreed to pass my manuscript on to her Adult book editor. (Mrs. Hees mostly deals with the children's book side of things, but has a guy that deals more with books geared towards adults.) Of course this doesn't guaranty publication, but it's the most promising thing that's happened to my career in a long time, so I'm pretty stoked. I don't know if I should have let the cat out of the bag before I even sent her the polished manuscript, but I am very excited and I will be excited whether she agrees to publish me or not. The fact is she liked my work enough to agree to pass it on to her associate. That in and of itself tells me I'm worth something. Now if I just had an agent to help me negotiate a good contract! Anyone??? Anyone??? (Insert the sound of crickets here.)

* Grandma continues to improve, but she still doesn't really have all her marbles about her. Honestly I don't know if she ever will. Let's face it. She's 85 years old. She's lived a wonderful -- if hard -- life and has been the rock and the faith-filled matriarch of this Bible Belt, God-loving family for a number of years. Eventually torches have to get passed and others need to step up. I think that's what society has forgotten. In Biblical times, the eldest son(s) stepped up to take over when the father got too old or feeble. Likewise, the eldest daughters or daughters-in-law took over out of respect for an aging mother. Society is so different these days. Nowadays most families are two-income families. They can't function without both Mom and Dad holding down a job. It's not like it was when Grandma and Grandpa were raising kids. Grandpa killed himself, working 16 to 20 hour shifts (so it's rumored) at Lone Star Steel. Likewise, my Uncles Bill and Marion followed their dads into business for a few years, helping bring money into the family. As for Grandma? She stayed home raising my mom and her brother Jerry. (Not sure if Uncle Jerry ever joined the crew at Lone Star Steel. It wouldn't have surprised me though. Seems everybody who grew up out there worked at Lone Star Steel at some point.)

Whatever the case, the fact is that the family survived on one income. My dad's family was much the same. His mom held down an occasional job. I know she was a nurse at one point. But by and large once kids came around, she was a stay-at-home mom. And it worked. They became very well-to-do thanks to the oil boom and the ever-increasing need for pipeline and construction work.

Today, you can't do that. A one-income family (like my cousins Jason and Angie) are such a rarety. It's more the exception than the rule. And so there is no one available to take over the reigns of "Matriarch" for my grandmother. There really isn't anyone with that kind of time anymore.

I thought technology was supposed to make our lives easier. I thought we were supposed to have shorter work days, larger paychecks and be living the Life of Riley. Well if this is the Life of Riley, let me tell you, Riley has a really crappy life!

Maybe it's just me, but it seems we're worse off today than we were 30 or 40 years ago. And if you doubt that, you need look no further than the space program. Forty years ago, we could land a man on the moon and return him safely to earth even if the craft gets struck by lightning during take off (See the Apollo 12 mission) Today, we can't even get a space shuttle off the ground because a hail storm hits south florida three days before launch. 1970's technology was good enough to save me from a doctor's prediction that I'd be dead by age 2. But 2007 technology can't even help me lose 40 or 50 lbs so that I can be healthier and help my son develop his baseball, basketball or football skills.

*Finally, this weekend is my book signing at Hastings in Longview. Samantha Branham (Author of The Tempest's Child) will be joining me in a meet-and-greet for our respective fans. I do look forward to meeting not only my fans but those of Samantha's growing fan base. Book signings are tremendous fun. I highly recommend them to anyone who's ever written a book. It's a great adrenaline rush.

Okay well that's the week(s) that was/were. It's a heck of a disorganized hodge podge of things, but it's pretty much everything that's been going on. My only other thing is American Idol. Phil Stacey shouldn't have gone home this week. He was finally coming into his comfort zone and yet America voted for that no talent Blake Lewis over Phil Stacey. Blake's rendition of the Bon Jovi classic was positiveley sacreligious if you ask me. You could tell in the interview that Jon Bon Jovi didn't like it and in all honesty neither did I!

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2

Hi everybody-

I just wanted to make sure I thanked everyone once again for all the continued prayers for my grandmother, mother and all my family during this time.

Grandma continues to have some difficulty with her general cognition. The lights appear to be on, but the times when no one is home seem to be more and more frequent, I'm sad to say. I love her to death, but I do see this as a very bad sign from a woman who has always been a powerful force in the world. Suddenly a woman well known for her strength seems stubbornly unable to admit the weakness overtaking her on so many levels.

It has to be horribly tough on her. She's been the rock that this family leaned on for probably more years than I've been alive. Now to see her mind slowly fading away.... well, it's not something I find easy to watch.

I've always felt so inadequate up against the tremendous faith and strength and courage she has possessed. But it is impossible to express the feeling of helplessness inside me as I observe her slide into inevitable senility.

Is it Alzheimers or dementia? I can't say that with any certainty of course. I'm not a doctor. I hold no degree in neurology or what have you. What I do know is that the grandma I knew 20 or 25 years ago is all but gone. Now there are mere glimmers. Occasional visits from the sharp mind and deep philosophical faith that so powerfully defined her character.

I do not know what will happen. Well, that's not true. She turns 85 on May 9th. I know what's coming eventually. But it's the between time that scares me. It's also the word "eventually" that scares me. Eventually could be 3 minutes after I post this blog or 10 years from now. Eventually could be some indetermanent time frame long after science discovers a way to make people live well into their triple digit years. But then again, as scary as that unknown is, I know one thing with absolute certainty. Not knowing is, indeed 1000 times better than if God were to curse me with the knowledge of the exact moment he had chosen to call my grandmother home.

I might have inherited some of her strength, but I know without a doubt that burdon is one I could not bear.

God bless everyone who continues to pray for this wonderful saint of a woman. You can't ever know exactly how much your prayers mean to me.

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2.

On September 20, 2001, President Bush gave a speech announcing his intention to carry on a "War on Terror" begun by mindless followers brainwised by the sadistic rantings of Usama bin Laden. What follows is an exerpt from that speech:

We have seen the state of our Union in the endurance of rescuers working past exhaustion.

We've seen the unfurling of flags, the lighting of candles, the giving of blood, the saying of prayers in English, Hebrew and Arabic.

We have seen the decency of a loving and giving people who have made the grief of strangers their own.

My fellow citizens, for the last nine days, the entire world has seen for itself the state of union, and it is strong.

Tonight, we are a country awakened to danger and called to defend freedom. Our grief has turned to anger and anger to resolution. Whether we bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to our enemies, justice will be done.

I thank the Congress for its leadership at such an important time.

All of America was touched on the evening of the tragedy to see Republicans and Democrats joined together on the steps of this Capitol singing "God Bless America."

---

I have to admit I searched the internet high and low for a picture of Dennis Hastert leading the members of Congress in this unprecidented event. Though it was more than 5 years ago, I remember it as if it were yesterday. As the president said, Democrat and Republican alike joined hands -- metaphorically and literally speaking -- in the prayer and acknowledgement of a Supreme Being. Did they express that it was a Christian God they were acknowledging? No. Did they pray "we love you, oh Christian God in Heaven"? No. But the manner in which the ceremony was conducted was nonetheless Judeo-Christian in its roots. It was a ceremony conducted without fear. And it was a ceremony echoed on courthouse steps, in schools, in private homes, corporations and churches all across the country. For once, we were united. As the words of the Pledge of Allegiance says, for once we were "...One Nation Under God..."

Later, in this same speech, Bush said the following:

And on behalf of the American people, I thank the world for its outpouring of support.

America will never forget the sounds of our national anthem playing at Buckingham Palace, on the streets of Paris and at Berlin's Brandenburg Gate.

We will not forget South Korean children gathering to pray outside our embassy in Seoul, or the prayers of sympathy offered at a mosque in Cairo.

We will not forget moments of silence and days of mourning in Australia and Africa and Latin America.

Nor will we forget the citizens of 80 other nations who died with our own. Dozens of Pakistanis, more than 130 Israelis, more than 250 citizens of India, men and women from El Salvador, Iran, Mexico and Japan, and hundreds of British citizens.

----

Here's the problem. Bush talked about all the things we would not forget. We would not forget our national anthem being played in tributes across the globe. We would not lose sight of the more than 80 nations who lost citizens on that horrific day. We would not let fade the memories of universal unity and the agreement that this evil must be defeated. We would not forget and we would not waver in our resolve...

And then we blinked.

As the smoke cleared and the cries of our nations' dead faded into distant memory, the nation as a whole, lost sight of reality. We let go of the helpless, frightened, confused feelings we all shared as we watched the Twin Towers fall, the Pentagon smoulder and glued ourselves to news stories of a downed plane in a Pennsylvania field.

Our minds forgot the images released later that year of bin Laden and several associates laughing in amazement, commenting that they had calculated only the first few floors of the buildings would fall, leaving the rest intact. How gleefully they celebrated at what they must have considered a "heavenly" stroke of luck.

Over time, we even forgot how we turned to God in this time of great human frailty. As the smoke cleared and the wounds began to heal, suddenly we did what we always do as a human race. We turned our back to God and relied on our own strengths, our own will power, our own perceptions and, most sad of all, our own blind self-assurance that God had taken care of us so we didn't need him any more. There wasn't any tragedy, so God could go back to playing with his toys in the corner or whatever. He could go back to tinkering with the stars or creating a new species of animal or making a way for the White Sox to win the championship. You know, all that pointless stuff that God does.

2003 saw the Columbia space shuttle disaster that took the lives of seven valiant and courageous heroes. On that day, the nation again bowed its head in prayer, fervently beseeching a Supreme Creator for peace and comfort in the time of great sorrow.

In 2004, when terrorists attacked a train in Madrid, Spain, even Americans again turned to a God they had ignored for months after the fire had died from the Columbia tragedy.

2005's London subway attacks again brought the God seekers out in droves. More recently -- October of 2006 to be exact -- when an Amish school was shot up by a crazed member of their own community, God again was asked to comfort us in our time of grief and confusion.

Since the horrible events of April 16, 2007, I've seen and heard politicians, celebrities and newscasters on every channel offering their prayers, thoughts and well-wishes. I can't even count the number of times I've heard someone say "I'm praying for you" or "We will have you in our prayers." And you know what? It's a sweet thought. But it's also a sickening thought. Why? Because the words are empty. I  would love to know how many prayers Simon Cowell actually said for the victims and families of Virginia Tech. How many times has Ryan Seacrest actually bent a knee and closed his eyes, asking his Creator to give comfort to those families? How many prayers have Keith Olberman, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama actually offered up in the name of the violence that occured? How many of them actually grieve for these 33 people with whom they had no connection? How many of them truly give thought to the many people still hospitalized from wounds suffered on that horrid day?

How many still pray for the victims of Columbine, the anniversary of which is tomorrow. When was the last time any of them actually gave thought to the survivors (or the victimes) of the Branch Davidian stand-off in Waco, Texas? (The anniversary of which is today!) When was the last time Paris Hilton or some other celebrity actually got down on their knees for something meaningful? (Which is to say, not a sex act!)

Are we supposed to spend the rest of our lives in mourning for these people? No, of course not. I know that's where this way of thinking was leading you, but that's not my message. The point I am trying to make is that people are so empty anymore. No one really cares. You offer up your empty promises of prayer and consider your good deed done for the day. What I'd like to know is how many of you actually make good on your promise to pray?

I honestly can't count the number of comforting e-mails I've gotten in the past few days, as I have posted message after message about my grandmother's recent health struggles. To read these promises of prayer and well wishes for myself and my family has been extraordinarily comforting. By and large, I've been reasonably sure that those of you who have said you're going to pray have, in fact, prayed. If you're like me -- and many of you are -- chances are many of you prayed even as  you were e-mailing me your comforting words of affection.

A couple of times, however, I will admit I wondered if this or that person was actually praying. In the long run, I don't think it's as important as who actually IS praying, but I admit I have had my doubts a few times. Especially in the wake of the events of April 16th, 2007. So many empty words. So many politicians encouraging people to pray. Six months from now, these are the same people who will be saying they agree with the ACLU that Christianity is evil but to eliminate Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism or Atheism for that matter is infringing on the free speech of these citizens. Six months from now, when the wounds of April 16th have healed, Americans will do what it always does when they feel like they no longer need God. They'll tell him to run along and go play.

"Just stay over there, God, so that we know where to find you the next time a plane hits our buildings or some wack job foreigner decides he wants to shoot up the school because nobody wants to play with him or when some other idiot decides he's Jesus Christ incarnate and wants to walk 800 people to their deaths... Don't call us, God. We'll call you."

People, it's time to wake up. God doesn't work that way. God is not Santa Claus watching to see if you've been good or bad, checking the naughty list twice and waiting for you to pray for that new pair of jeans you want.

God is not a Deity of convenience. Either you're willing to worship him in the good times or you're not. But if you're not, don't bother turning to him in times of trouble, you stinking hypocrite! I don't know about God, but I don't want to hear it. God's not good enough for you to worship in times of Joy, but he's good enough for you to call upon when you finally realize how powerless you are to truly effect real change in the world?

It's time to decide if the 80 percent of you who claim to be Christian really are what you say you are. It's time to put up or shut up in this world. I truly do sympathize with the events on the Virginia Tech campus and when I say I do pray  -- and have prayed -- for the victims and their families, I mean it. I have prayed many times in the past few days. I continue to do so even as I am writing this blog. For those of you out there offering your pitiful meaningless well-wishes and empty, unfulfilled promises of prayer, I say SHAME ON YOU! How dare you offer up a false sense of security. Again, the speech President Bush made on September 20, 2001 rings in my mind.

We're not deceived by their pretenses to piety.

Americans are asking, "How will we fight and win this war?" We will direct every resource at our command -- every means of diplomacy, every tool of intelligence, every instrument of law enforcement, every financial influence and every necessary weapon of war -- to the destruction and to the defeat of the global terror network.

This is the world's fight. This is civilization's fight. This is the fight of all who believe in progress and pluralism, tolerance and freedom.

We ask every nation to join us.

We will ask and we will need the help of police forces, intelligence services and banking systems around the world. The United States is grateful that many nations and many international organizations have already responded with sympathy and with support -- nations from Latin America, to Asia, to Africa, to Europe, to the Islamic world.

Perhaps the NATO charter reflects best the attitude of the world: An attack on one is an attack on all. The civilized world is rallying to America's side.

They understand that if this terror goes unpunished, their own cities, their own citizens may be next. Terror unanswered cannot only bring down buildings, it can threaten the stability of legitimate governments.

And you know what? We're not going to allow it.

Americans are asking, "What is expected of us?"

I ask you to live your lives and hug your children.

---

Today, I echo President Bush's words. What can you do to stop this tragedy from occuring? Several things. But above all, live your life and hug your children. Hug your children. That's easy to define. But what does it mean to live your life? It means keeping your eyes on God, plain and simple. It means loving Him through the good times as much as you rely on Him during hard times.

As long as the United States of America is determined and strong, this will not be an age of terror. This will be an age of liberty here and across the world.

Great harm has been done to us. We have suffered great loss. And in our grief and anger, we have found our mission and our moment.

Freedom and fear are at war. The advance of human freedom, the great achievement of our time and the great hope of every time, now depends on us....Even grief recedes with time and grace.

In all that lies before us, may God grant us wisdom, and may he watch over the United States of America.

----

Until next time, may God watch over the blog brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2.

In his recent blog Nathan Bransford -- Agent for Curtis Brown -- spoke about a concept that's very near and dear to my heart, the dreaded "speed rejection."

In it, Mr. Bransford discussed the reasons why agents will often send a rejection to a query letter in (say) five minutes. As a person who has experienced this phenomena more than once, I have to say I've thought long and hard about it. Prior to reading Nathan's blog, I must say I pictured some stuffy suit-clad business type, with his salt-and-peppered widow's peak and leathery skin. I envisioned this imaginary villain laughing hysterically as he read each query with disdain, responding to each with a typical one liner "not for me, thanks!" before going on to the next poor, innocent, aspiring writer.

Having read his blog, I came to understand that he's a busy man, plain and simple. He doesn't want to disrespect anyone, but he also doesn't want to blow smoke up your butt or waste your time. ("your", of course, referring to my fellow aspiring writer.)

Still, I must admit I'm an enigma. I'm an anomoly in the writing world. I'm different. I'm Random Man, but I'm also marching to the beat of my own drummer. Keeping that in mind, it should come as no surprise that I decided to pose a question to Mr. Nathan Bransford. As I'm known for my offbeat sense of humor, I'm quite sure he didn't know what to make of my question, but I have to recognize the candor and professionalism with which he answered the question that I seriously wanted answered.

Quite simply, I asked him had he ever speed rejected a query only to re-think his decision later on. Perhaps he would be driving home at the end of a long day and thought "Well, I don't know. That does sound appealing." or whatever.

In short, he wrote that he'd never experienced that. He doesn't second guess himself. He goes with his gut, which is the way he has learned to do his job. His first instincts, like most agents, are always right.. (I'm sure the 8 publishers that rejected Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone aren't second guessing themselves either. Kicking themselves, maybe; But hardly second guessing themselves. There's a confidence on that side of this business that forbids such a sin.)

Let me pause for a moment to discuss the rejection of some authors you may or may not know.

John Grisham - 28 publishers rejected "A Time to Kill"

Golding - 21 publishers rejected "Lord of the Flies"

Pearl Buck - 14 publishers rejected "The Good Earth"

George B. Shaw - first 5 novels rejected

Saroyan - first 100 articles rejected

Mary Higgins Clark - first short story rejected 40 times

Louis L'Amour - 350 rejections

(Source: http://writingcorner.com/motivation/mot-funinspire.htm)

Meg Cabot said that her Princess Diaries got rejected seventeen times before it was finally bought.

Marcel Proust decided to self-publish after being rejected three times.

Stephen King got the following rejection for his bestselling novel, Carrie: "We are not interested in science fiction which deals with negative utopias. They do not sell."

Shockingly, The Diary Of Anne Frank received the following rejection comment: "The girl doesn't, it seems to me, have a special perception or feeling which would lift that book above the curiosity' level."

(Source: http://www.debbieohi.com/personal/rejections.html)

Needless to say, Editors and Agents are wrong. I'm going to make a dangerous assertion that they are probably wrong more than they are right. Does that make them dummies? Of course not. It only takes one good sell for them to be set for the year. A good analogy here would be baseball. The greatest baseball player has a batting average under .400. This means he misses the ball nearly 7 out of every 10 times he gets up to bat. But it only takes one home run to spell the difference in the game. So, no, agents and editors are not stupid, despite what some aspiring writers would like to think. That little "masterpiece" you have sitting on your computer desk might be the next Harry Potter, but what the agent is saying is that the piece isn't right for him. End of story.

So what's an impatient, anxious, hopeful aspiring writer to do amid all that rejection? Well, the first  response is "Gut up or Give up!" A writer faced with rejection must decide if he's willing to fight through the rejection and carry on. Give up completely or keep submitting to other agents and editors? Nathan Bransford can't answer that question for an aspiring writer. Curtis Brown (God rest his soul) can't answer that question for an aspiring writer. That must come from your heart. Do you wake up, go through your day, and go to bed at night with writing as your singular focus? If so, you're a writer. If you give up, you're a has been before you are an "ever was."

The Agent Theory

Here's where we depart from what's been discussed and get to the reason why this article was written to begin with. Agents and editors are lucky. They have the luxury of going with their guts. Going with their first instincts serves them well -- well enough they don't starve at least.

Writers don't have this luxury. Our gut is to write. Agents collect a paycheck everyday. They sit in an office, read queries, submissions and e-mails from industry insiders. They take phone calls, make phone calls, do "lunch" and negotiate movie deals or what have you. They work hard, no doubt. But at the end of the day, they have a guaranteed income. They can afford to go with their gut. They get paid regardless. Writers must never go with their gut. To do so is death to a writer's career. To go with one's "first instinct" is to eliminate the entire revision process. To simply pen a basic query and put no thought into it, no heart. Imagine if we were to read the first draft of Stephen King's "The Stand." It was probably a 300 page semi-organized story in usual need of clean up, structure and tone. Seven drafts later, (or 100 drafts... who knows?) we are graced with what is hailed as one of his best pieces ever! His first instincts didn't work, period. The way he told the story was a framework, but he had to go back, cogitate, contemplate, add, take away, revise, revise, revise...

Imagine if I sat at my computer pounding out a story's first draft and sent that to an editor or agent. I'd be the laughing stock of the publishing world! (Me and 3,000 other writers who actually DO this each day!) I don't do this, however. I sit. I take weeks, months, even years crafting my stories, amid family crises, personal health issues and major world events. I pour my heart and soul onto the 85,000 word manuscript. I interrupt family time, battle through sicknesses, cancel vacations and lose endless sleep as I work to make this story the best that it can be. I obsess over the query. I make as many drafts of my query letter as I do my novel, it seems. I send both letter and manuscript to friend and fellow writer alike, asking for assistance with making it as good as it can be.

And then I am rejected in five minutes by a very hard working, congenial, gut-led experienced agent, batting about .300 in the agenting world. And apparently I'm supposed to see the scales as balanced. It's not bitterness I express when I say that I don't see it thus. It's logic, I suppose. Logic of a person led not by his gut, but by something about six inches higher -- my heart.

And it leaves me wondering, how is a heart-led person supposed to convince a gut-led person that passion and teamwork leads to lasting success. We're speaking different languages. How am I to convince a person whose heart is out of the equation that my passion, devotion, desire and ability are several of the key elements it takes for a literary partnership to thrive? All I have is my passion and ability. I don't have a crystal ball into the future or a bankroll to guaranty his investment in me.

Agents and editors think with their guts. Writers think with their hearts. And it's only when the two find a way to communicate between the two that a connection is made. Those are great moments. It's that moment when writing does something truly magical. For it is in that moment -- the moment when guts and hearts are communicating in harmony -- that writing touches the deepest parts of a unified soul.

(Wow... that's cool. I need to write that down!)

Till next time, this article is brought to you by the aspiring letters W, E and H and by their partner in crime, number 2

No wonder my life isn't all ducks and roses. I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

I drove by a Motel 6 the other day. None of the lights were on.

Supposedly I can have my Whopper my way. Can I get it without all the unhealthy transfats but still with all the cheesy goodness that comes with a good, sloppy, grease-ridden burger?

I know adults who can recite the Big Mac song backwards and forwards but can't say the Pledge of Allegiance, the Preamble to the Constitution, don't know the 10 commandments and truly believe the words "separation of church and state" appear in the Constitution somewhere.

Anyone remember the little rubber martian toys that were in the McDonald's Happy Meals about 30 years ago? They were green, blue, yellow... Maybe a red one in there... I don't know, but they were so cool!

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down. This is true. Weebles are egg shaped. Weebles sit on thier butts and don't fall down. Eggs invariably fall on their side. I'm confused.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But neither bird in the bush will bite you unless you stick your hand in there to try to grab one.

A penny saved is a penny earned. What the hell can you buy for a penny?

The army used to have a saying "Be all that you can be." Now it's "An army of one." I think they changed it the first time they took a look at some soldier being all he could be and they thought "that's it?"

In writing, we have a saying when talking about the best way to write a story. "Show don't tell." Imagine having that in grade school. I picture some nine year old standing perfectly silent holding a pet rock for five minutes before returning to his seat, much to the confused delight of his fellow classmates.

Early to bed, early to rise means the laundry gets piled up, the dishes don't get washed, the cat litter doesn't get scooped, the dog doesn't get walked, the child's homework doesn't get completed, bills don't get paid, but I'm well-rested when I have to return to the monotony of my deadend 9 to 5 job.

A few years ago, I realized the strangest thing. If I wait long enough without eating, hunger pangs go away on their own. Weird. I wonder how long you'd have to wait before they'd come back.

It takes pluto approximately 240 Earth years to travel around the sun. It's pretty far away. Sound travels quite a bit slower than light. So I wonder how long it's going to take Plutonians to discover they've lost their status as the ninth planet. I'm guessing they have an abundance of PLUTONIUM up there on PLUTO. What if they nuke us in anger? Ah, I guess it won't matter. I'll be dead and my great great great great great great grandchildren will have to figure out why some odd nuclear object is on a collision course with earth, bearing a plutonian inscription that says "Oh yeah!? Bite me, Earth Scum!" on it.
(one of my fellow writer friends is going to write that story now!)

Pluto is cold. Could they even get a rocket to launch? Wait. Cold Fusion. Crap! Little Eddie the ninth is gonna die, man!

This little exercise has made me laugh. I don't know about you, but I've enjoyed it.

W, E and H thank you for your participation, as does the number 2.